tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071356033903409696.post155327194350853923..comments2023-10-15T01:32:12.591-07:00Comments on Am I still ill?: Psychosis as Wish FulfilmentZoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16387930863764474737noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071356033903409696.post-4425670784401049922008-06-11T02:49:00.000-07:002008-06-11T02:49:00.000-07:00Nice to hear from you Rebecca. You are right, it's...Nice to hear from you Rebecca. You are right, it's always good to know you are not alone. I did use to be pretty ashamed of the sheer level of grandiosity involved in being a deity! I too did keep it largely to myself, content to contemplate the wonder of myself, though I did share it with my boyfriend, assuring him that he was also a god, and that in the privacy of our living room we were actually controlling the world!<BR/><BR/>Most of the time I have a balanced view of bipolar. It certainly opens your eyes other dimensions of human experience which can feel quite privileged. When one isn't cursing the illness from the depths of one's heart (depression following a mania).<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing this with me. Zoe.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16387930863764474737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3071356033903409696.post-22988955790737310642008-06-10T17:01:00.000-07:002008-06-10T17:01:00.000-07:00Oh, heavens. How I do know about being a deity. I'...Oh, heavens. How I do know about being a deity. I've felt numerous times, in the throes of mania, that I were indeed the Spirit of Mother Earth, or the follow-up to Christ (his sister, or the "Daughter of God"), or some new definition of Messiah, here to end the existence of Hell and welcome Satan back to paradise, etc etc. Fortunately, I have always kept this to myself during each of those times, preferring to tiptoe about content with the gravity of such cosmic responsibility bearing down invisibly across my shoulders. A perfect being, afterall, would not be so foolish as to brag about her true nature to mere mortals. It's a wonderful secret when I'm manic, which is why I prefer to be alone when I am so that I can ponder my divinity and not be reminded of the trappings of humanity, i.e. friends dropping in to ask why my phone's been disconnected.<BR/><BR/>Of course, it's always good to know I'm not actually alone in this. I guess a way to mitigate the embarrassment of such grandiose thoughts is to reflect on pantheism? That perhaps we ARE all facets of this being, God? I don't know. Sometimes, regardless of whether I'm depressed, I feel like being bipolar is something of a blessing. I can't fathom living this way forever and believing it to be nothing but a terrible curse.Beakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18017037511340849720noreply@blogger.com