Last week was too much!

And I couldn't handle it anymore. The fatigue and depression became so excruciating that I have decided to go back up to 1000mg Sodium Valproate from 500mg. Of course I don't know if it's even that that's caused this. But I don't want to take the chance. Perhaps things will become clearer when I get to see my doc next week and get started on some form of HRT. If things improve from there I will be able to conclude that the problem is mainly hormonal. In the meantime I just have to be patient.

I don't want another week like that though. Today I feel better. Richard is here and has worked his usual magic.

I'm now inclined to forget about doing the MA at least for this year. I'm seriously concerned that the ups and downs of my health will become problematic and I really need to get that sorted as a matter of urgency. After that, second priority is to get back out into the workplace, even if it's voluntary work. But one won't happen without the other.

We're off to the Farmer's Market in a minute to get my week's fruit and veg. Maybe pick some blackberries on the way back.

I never thought that Sodium Valproate and other mood stabilisers prevented me from getting depressed but I have to say that the severity of what I went through last week was worse than I remember. But the fatigue is something new and quite frightening. I hate being ill. I'm stuck at home, I can't get out and see anyone or get anything done. I dreamt I had another manic breakdown and something has to give, really, because otherwise it could happen.

Take care everyone. Love, Zoe.