Calling Interwebbers anonymous...

Hi there. Checking in for the day. Had a much better night's sleep thanks to the doc's advice yesterday to take my Zyprexa last thing. Consequently feel much fresher, and have had a nice bath and breakfasted on wheat-free toast and black coffee. Still Ipodding away. Determined not to let any of youse fuck up my day!

Admittedly it's lonely in my little house all alone. Even the Crisis Team come as a welcome relief, especially now they've decided to actually start helping me instead of firing off irrelevant and inane questions. An Occupational Therapist even came yesterday and helped me a great deal by making constructive suggestions about how to best pass the time. I followed his advice to go for a walk in my local park, Alexandra Palace. Enjoyed nature, seeing happy mothers with their babes and an orange ice lolly in the shade when I got to the top, at the boating lake. He also sensibly told me to leave my fags at home, and I did that too.

What do I have to complain of? I am sure you can hear that 'but' coming! Well same old same old. I'm lonely. I would like a full-time partner, and would even consider trading in Richard for a new model, as neither he nor I wants to live together. Everyone needs someone! I ain't no nun!

Don't get me wrong. Richard is an absolute treasure, and without him I quite simply would not have made it thus far. He's kind and decent to a fault. But my friend Angie says 'he is Immanence and I am Transcendence. He is stronger than I am and squashes me flat in any dispute. Plus he has the trump card of being able to leave me with equanimity. he loves me to bits but we both know that we are not life partners. And he has a roving eye!

Angie also gave me a new phrase to conjure with. She said that she has 'Gemini Status'. Made being born in June seem like a disease! I thought that was very funny and clever and immediately started to talk about having Gemini Status myself despite being born in unlucky old Pisces! What it implies first and foremost is the feling that you are a two for the price of one. Also, that you have a twin who you may or may not know. In Peter Cook's words, 'Tragically I was an only twin'.

Waxing philosophical here. Well it makes a change from talking about the blasted laundry. I have aspirations to develop a reputation for reliability, dependability and being ultimately a very down to earth person. Coulfd have my work cut out, 'cause none of the planets in my horoscope are in Earth signs, not one. Correction, my Pluto is in Virgo, but so is that of millions of other, because Pluto moves exceeding slowly. Oh Zoe I hear you groan, you don't believe all that stuff do you? Put it this way, I'd like to. Astrology makes life seem so simple. I devour astrology books in the same way other women devour Mills and Boon romances.

Enough Thoughts for the Day for now. I'm off to smoke another skinny roll-up. I now look pregnant by the way from all the sweeties. God make me whole and healthy again. Amen. Love you! Zoe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx