Sunday, August 19, 2007

Better day.

My beloved cheered me up. We went for a long walk up to Highgate Wood...God I so needed that. I needed to feel half human again. Still not 100% but I have started to understand how it must be to have a chronic physical illness or disability so that you can't take things for granted such as being able to get out of your house every day.

I decided today to just go back to 500mg of Sodium Valproate (I had been down to 325mg) for the time being and just see how I go with that. What's the big rush! As it is I've moved very fast, faster than many of the experts would say is wise to go.

The muscle aches and headaches are gone though. Now I am dealing with tearfulness and depression, some anxiety, hot flashes and excessive sweating, mainly on my face, and the dread fatigue, definitely the worst symptom of the lot. But I read somewhere that sweating is the only way the body can get rid of some chemicals so maybe that is a good thing.

How I would have managed any of this without having access to the Internet is anyone's guess. By far the most valuable insights into withdrawal come from those who have experienced it and I don't know of anyone IRL who has gone this route. Most psychiatrists are worse than useless when it comes to this stuff. They haven't got a clue.

Last week I added a Vitamin C tablet, Selenium, and Evening Primrose Oil capsule to my already extensive list of supplements. I have got Patrick Holford's 'Optimum Nutrition for the Mind' and it makes a lot of recommendations but I just can't get everything.

According to him I may be a 'histadelic', meaning someone with genetically high levels of histamine in their blood. It sort of fits, although not the bit about 'rarely gains weight'. However since I've been on the GL diet (Low Glycaemic Load) cravings are out of the window, I can go for six hours happily without a meal and for the first time in a very long time I feel completely in control around food. I'm also an ex-coffeeholic and an ex-smoker...I gave up in May 2006. I used to crave sweet things. It's all history.

Actually my appetite is not huge right now. That is down to the withdrawal. Today Richard and I went to the Farmer's Market and I made sure to get cabbage, green beans and carrots...made a lovely soup later when we got back from our walk. Plums are gorgeous at the moment and English apples just coming into their own. I love to buy and eat seasonal and local, it makes an enormous difference. Also, organic wherever possible.

Well enough of my ramblings. Take care my dears. Love, Zoe.


Gianna said...

hey there Zoe,
I tested hystadelic and the recommendation was to take SAMe. What a nightmare!! It made me a total basketcase and I've since heard a lot of stories about it being nasty for a lot of people.

Just wanted to tell you that in case you decided you wanted to treat it, there are different ways.

Le Canard Noir said...

lots of good clarifications on Holford's advice at