Saturday, December 1, 2007

Blog Entry Number Fifty...

Thought I should mark that occasion. It was so heartening to get some comments on my last entry, and realise that I had actually been linked to somewhere ( Psychiatric Survivor) without my knowledge. The 'silence' was starting to get me down. I guess the blogosphere is a mighty competitive place. To get readers takes a bit of effort...or some kind friends.

Well, as it is Blog Fifty, I will just say, yes, it is nice to have readers, and I would welcome more, as I do feel I have something useful to say about recovery. A lot of my entries can seem a bit mundane, but a few years ago I think I would have been intrigued and inspired to find that someone who has been as ill as I have, and as thoroughly 'psychiatrised', could go on to make a full recovery. Not only am I now psych drug-free, I am functioning at a higher level than most normies for God's sake!

That is what I want to we say in the Twelve-Step Fellowships, my 'experience, strength and hope'. Some handy tips maybe. So I won't give up on this blog, and I will go on tapping away in my 'nun's cell', holding on to the faith that someone, somewhere will benefit, even if not right now, at some stage. In any case, as you say Gianna, it's always good to write in any case. To be read is the icing on the cake! (Sugar-free, naturally!)

I had a reasonable day today. Have started to try and put into practice Lynn Grabhorn's notions of using the power of positive feelings to magnetise good stuff into your life. This means, conversely, not allowing oneself to get carried away by the negative stuff...fulminating, bitching, stewing, going into victim mode and so on. If you really believe that to do so effectively gives carte blanche to a load of shite to come into your life, it certainly does concentrate the mind! I'm not saying I'm totally convinced's too early to say, but I am certainly giving it a good go!

This evening on the way home I tried to go to the gym, got changed, locked up my stuff and went up only to find it had just closed! On weekends it closes at five, which I hadn't known. So I had a chance to work on my feelings of disappointment and frustration on the way home. I did get over them...I'm OK now. It helped having the nice surprise of having my blog linked to! And the company of a very sleek and purry pussy cat.

Take care all! And if you have been, thanks for reading! Love, Zoe.


polarpaul said...

It can be tough to have people read our blogs, so I think the most important consideration is making sure we get something out of our blogging even if nobody reads it.

I've read Lynne Grabhorn's book too. It was certainly challenging to my largely pessimistic world view. While her views, like any others taken to exreme, should be taken with a grain of salt there's certainly abundant evidence that our expectations can have a strong effect on our perception of life and our willingness to engage in it.

I think it's better to be attempting to do something positive rather than dwell too much on what's wrong with it. As a pessimist, my ability to see the flaws in things will alway be well developed. Making an effort to cultivate more positive aspirations has allowed me to move forward rather than be a spectator in my own life.

You've certainly accomplished a lot in your life this last year. It'd be nice if more people acknowledged it, but sometimes our reward is largely limited to living a better quality of life.

On the other hand, I think people are often afraid of failure and will tend to stay mired in a bad situation because they've grown accustomed to it. These people will often commiserate with others in similar circumstances which serves to reinforce their justification for not taking the risks needed to move forward.

I think there's often a very fine line between seeking positive support and support which will allow us to continue in our rut. Personally, I'm very leery about making these sorts of judgments for other people.

I must admit I've engaged in seeking sympathy for justifying continuing on an unhealthy path for myself. I feel it's important for me to be honest with myself about my efforts to improve my circumstances in life. This can often be a delicate balance as I don't want too push too hard nor be too complacent.

From my perspective, I think you've got even better things ahead in the coming year. You can start to turn your thoughts beyond coping and managing your health to more fulfilling interests beyond the necessities of life.

Zoe said...

Great to hear from you Paul. Thank you so much for taking the time to write so thoughtfully, it really cheered me up to find your comment. (I was a little down today,and tired.) Pessimistic? I think you're quite well-balanced, and at any rate you have good self-awareness.

I wonder how your blog is going? Need to visit Moodgarden soon and have a look! I'm always pretty amazed when others read me and comment to be honest! I do a bit of lurking and reading but often am lost for words when it comes to commenting! When I'm inspired to, I do though.

Take care Paul, and thanks again for your kind and wise words.

Mark said...

I don't read your blog daily, but weekly. If you looked for them there are too many blogs to read on a daily basis.
The advice to comment on other blog is good if you want to make friends and contacts with other people. You can tell of your own experience in a comment. Glad you don't feel so isolated. Squeeky wheel gets the grease you know.